KOTeHOK
by B.J. Sanders
Summary: Kai is having some silent contemplations and losing himself. Rei comes to make sure he's okay. KaiRei fluff. Delusions. Rated T just to be safe.


**TITLE: **котенок

**DISCLAIMER: **Beyblade does not belong to me. "Porcelain", however, does -- that's the song, by the way.

**WARNING: (K**ai's) P.O.V. More than likelya bit of out-of-characterness. A bit dark and on the angsty side. _**Unintentional**_ attempted suicide. Fluffy feelings between two boys.

* * *

_little glass figurine –_

_are you that afraid to break?_

_Little porcelain face –_

_Will you shed your tears tonight?

* * *

_

"Kai?"

Your voice called out to me, as if in a dream. It was questioning, unsure. It was just another way to seduce me, wasn't it? Exactly following the movement of your hips as you sashayed towards me, the sheer gown you wore doing nothing for my countenance, the moon shining on you only making it easier to see your bare form.

You had let your hair loose earlier, and even though it was still damp from your shower, it curled into your face and around your thighs, leaving a wet trail down your back.

I pretended to ignore you, even as you stepped closer and closer until we were mere inches away from touching. That was what you wanted though, wasn't it?

A concentrated look of concern flashed in your honey-colored eyes. Were you worried about me? Did you think that I came out on this balcony, so many floors up, in the dead of a cold winter night to throw myself off? Don't worry kitten – I'm not that desperate.

"Are you alright?" Again with the concern? Haven't you learned that I won't answer you? I don't answer Tyson. I don't answer Max. I don't respond to Kenny. What makes you think I'd answer you, Rei? What makes you think…?

Your eyes widen as you place your hand on my forehead. Why would you do that? I didn't give you permission to touch me.

Your hand's cold. I hadn't realized you had moved. I didn't realize the air was so warm, either. When did you get so close, Rei? Why are you staring at me with those doe eyes? You're seducing me, aren't you? You only wanted to touch me, didn't you?

* * *

_don't let yourself shine through –_

_they're only going to hurt you –_

_so hide inside for a day to pass –_

_and when they're gone you can shatter the glass._

_there's no way to understand this,_

_this primal urge that's running deep –_

_how long to you think it'll take_

_before it's too late to be awake?

* * *

_

"You're burning up, Kai. You should come inside."

I don't even acknowledge you even exist as I stare out at the cityscape. There is a fog settling over the horizon, or perhaps it's all inside my mind. My mind has been clouded these past few nights. And you're no help, with your secret smiles and tender touches.

You plague my mind, Rei. My thoughts won't stray from you. I've begun to crave you, kitten – I want to taste you, touch you, take you wholly into me and never let go. See what kind of predicament I'm in?

Your hands are on my cheeks now, turning my face to yours. Are you going to kiss me, Rei? Are you going to let me taste you?

My eyes don't meet yours, but I can see you frown, the light in your eyes dimming ever so slightly. Have I hurt you? Is this torture enough for you, too? I'm denying myself – I'm denying you.

"Kai…"

There's something in your voice, but I don't heed it. I'm still looking out at the fog. What do you want from me Rei? What part of me must I give up for you?

* * *

_little glass figurine –_

_are you ever going to be free?_

_little porcelain face –_

_how long until you try it again?

* * *

_

"Please, Kai. Look at me. _Please._"

Now you're begging? No, but there are tears in your throat. What's wrong kitten? Am I hurting you? Are there tears in your eyes, too? I can't look at you tonight, kitten. You must understand this. If I do, then it's all over. Even now I can feel myself zoning out of this world. Can you feel it Rei?

"_Kai_…"

Don't cry Rei. See? Look at the moon – it's full tonight. It's dangerous for you. The moon does weird things to me when it's full. I don't want to hurt you more than I have, Rei. _Why won't you understand?_

"How can I, Kai? You won't give me a chance to."

You've removed your hands from my face, and I must say I regret your action. They felt well-placed there. Now I feel feverish. It won't be long now at all. You still don't move away from me, though. You're still so close…

My haze is only getting stronger. I can barely see now, Rei. What will you do when I fade completely? Will you simply let me go? Let me flow through your fingers like water? Let me float off the ground and pass through you like wind? What will you do, kitten?

* * *

_just continue your happy ways_

_with fake smiles and pretty lies_

_until you feel yourself about to break –_

_how long will it take for you to cry?_

_there's no such thing as a fairytale ending –_

_none of those stories even ring true –_

_but when I cry tonight_

_forgive me when I run to you.

* * *

_

"Kai, look at me."

You're trying to gain an attention that has been long gone, kitten. See it there, over that one tiny building? It's gone. I can't focus, not even on your seductive little gown.

Your hands are on my cheeks again, and my mind spins out of control. I can't feel gravity anymore. There's no light, not even that circle of silver spotlighting on us from the sky. We are alone, and all I can feel is you.

All I can see is you. Will I lose you, too?

"No, Kai."

* * *

_little glass figurine –_

_I can feel you about to shatter._

_little porcelain face –_

_have things really gotten this bad?

* * *

_

You're whispering. Why are you whispering? Is there something wrong? Who do you keep answering? Am I not here, in front of you? Or am I really not? You're talking to someone else. Someone else who's talking back to you.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kai."

I'm not asking, Rei. How are you answering me? I'm not that far gone, am I? So far as to be out of the fog of my mind? I don't understand Rei. What's going on?

"It's okay, Kai. It's all going to be okay."

My head is being pulled down, and your nose is touching mine. I can see you, now. Your eyes right there in front of mine, your thumbs caressing my cheeks. What happened, Rei? What are you doing here? What am I doing here?

"Don't think you can escape me so easily, Kai."

Your tone is lighthearted, but I still don't understand. Why are there tears in your eyes?

You're holding onto me now, and I'm finding it hard to breath. What happened Rei? Why are you crying?

"We had best go inside, Kai. It's getting cold out here."

* * *

_you sit and deny that you need me –_

_you don't need anyone at all._

_the same thing goes for me, too –_

_but it's my name you always call._

_and we'll just do this thing tonight –_

_after that it can all be done._

_we'll go our separate ways –_

_but you'll come back with the setting sun.

* * *

_

I don't protest, merely follow you, your hand gripping mine firmly, as though afraid to let go. But before we actually make it into the room, you turn suddenly, throwing your arms around my neck. I'm not actually prepared for it, so your weight pushed against mine puts me off balance, and I fall back.

As I look up into your tear-filled eyes, I realize you've been crying for awhile now. What happened, kitten? What happened?

"Promise you won't do it again, Kai. I need you to promise."

I'm confused now. Again. What are you talking about? What shouldn't I do? I turn to look back at the balcony, and realize how slippery the earlier rain made the railing. I must have slipped. Rei… is that what happened? Did I fall?

"Promise me, Kai! _Please…_"

I smile at you, and put my hands on your cheeks. I'm touching you. Don't worry kitten. Don't worry. I press my lips to yours in a chaste kiss. I can still see determination in your eyes, though. You really do want my promise, don't you? Silly kitten.

I look into your eyes, making sure you understand the meaning behind my words. And this time, I speak.

"глупый котенок я обещаю."

Silly kitten.

* * *

_little glass figurine –_

_we all have secrets we want to keep._

_little porcelain face –_

_I don't need anyone, but I do need you.

* * *

_

**A/N:** Hello:) My first BeyBlade fic. Yay! It's Kai/Rei, in case you didn't know, in Kai's POV. It may be a little confusing, and I'm sorry about that. I'm not really sure what I was thinking as I wrote it. More than likely, it out of character, and I'm sorry for that.

As for the pronunciation – and meaning – behind the Russian words: the meaning is "Silly kitten, I promise." (But I can't be sure…) and the pronunciation, I believe, is "g-l-oo-p-i(as in ill)-y(as in boy) – k-o-t-ye-n-o-k – ya -- o-b-ye-sh-ah-u(as in use)."

Of course, on a safer note, I'm not really sure at all. It's only recently that I've taken an interest in the Russian language, so please forgive me if anything is incorrect.

Ah! And the title. That's "Kitten". (k-o-t-ye-n-o-k, if you're confused about the pronunciation :)

Oh, and if you are wondering why Rei knows most everything Kai is thinking -- he's not psychic, okay? Kai's emotions are running rampant in his eyes, if that explains anything at all.

Please tell me what you think -- have a happy Easter:)


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